The Bay Gull

Stony Brook Gaslighting Club President Chad Wallace published three separate Instagram stories on Friday night featuring himself next to various campus streetlights with the chorus of “Electric” by Katy Perry playing in the background. 

While all the stories were deleted within the hour, followers of Wallace had already begun speculating in the comments of his latest posts by Saturday morning. Expectedly, the official response from the organization’s social media manager was “What stories? Chad doesn’t even own a phone.” 

Despite the club’s stance, by Monday morning, students had taken it upon themselves to uncover the true meaning behind Wallace’s stories, with several people spotted scaling the light poles. When inquired about what they were hoping to achieve, philosophy major Jesse Kate claimed that she was “simply hoping to shine a light on the whole situation.”

With curiosity mounting, the Bay Gull has managed to interview Brian Wallace, a freshman at Syracuse University, and Chad Wallace’s younger brother. In between shots of mescal, Brian explained that his family has been “fighting to build electric lighting infrastructure in universities across the country since the ‘90s.” When we asked him how he thought the lights were currently being powered, he gaped at the camera before responding “You don’t see all the little fires?”

In related news, Campus Residences sent out a university-wide email stating that “active fires are no longer allowed inside the dorms” shortly after seizing several residents’ lamps during October 2023’s dorm room inspections. Chad’s suitemate reported that he heard Chad swearing profusely and shouting “You’ve gotten too good at this” and “Why did you let it get this far?” shortly after his own room was checked.