The Bay Gull

Interview with an anonymous student who suspects their roommate may be a vampire

Roommates. The search for one strikes fear into the hearts of college students each academic year. Worries about being stuck with someone so bad it's postable cause rumination as students hear roommate horror stories of the past and present. You’ve probably heard of the Loud Roommate, the Messy Roommate, the Smelly Roommate, the Passive Aggressive Roommate. But have you heard of the Vampire Roommate? 

Unconventional, I know. But recently The Bay Gull conducted an anonymous interview at our office with a Stony Brook student claiming their roommate is a vampire! Read the full unedited transcript below. 

Bay Gull: Come in, enter! So, you think this roommate of yours is a vampire? What made you come to this conclusion? Take me back to the start. 

Anonymous: Well, I guess I should start with the day she first arrived at our dorm. She moved in a little late but so did a lot of people because of the floods, so I didn’t think that was strange. Her family was very careful about not traveling over water, so they waited until things calmed down.

Bay Gull: Right. 

Anonymous: Anyways, on the day she arrived, she opened the door and pushed her suitcases in before I went to greet her. We exchanged names and talked a bit about our trips here before she pointed out that it was kind of weird we were just standing in the doorway and asked if she could ‘like, enter,’ trailed by a laugh. She said ‘enter’ specifically, I remember. We both thought it was a bit weird and cracked up a little, but of course, I told her to come in. And that’s how it started.

Bay Gull: Interesting. And what happened next? What started to tick off your suspicions?

Anonymous: Well, I feel ridiculous saying this, but I didn’t see any of the signs at the moment. Or, connect them at least. But looking back at our time together so far this semester, there were definitely signs—so many signs. God, how didn’t I realize sooner?

Bay Gull: And could you tell me, what were some of these signs?

Anonymous: Well, still on the day she moved in, she started unpacking and I noticed she had a lot of black clothes, which is fine. I mean I just thought she was an emo or goth or something. But every piece of clothing she owned was black, every single one. All her stuff was too, from her sheets to her perfume to her shampoo bottles. Looking at her side of the room every day is like staring straight into a black hole. But I love a good dark aesthetic, so I didn’t have a problem. 

Bay Gull: Right. And looking back, as you spent more time together, was there anything else that was a little strange?

Anonymous: Yeah, so after living with her for a while, one day I thought to myself, Wow, she has really nice skin, like very youthful and glowy. So, I asked about her skincare routine, since I'd never seen her doing it in our room. She was flattered, but just responded that she was “born that way” and “just has good genes.” But I knew she was lying. Skin doesn’t just get that smooth by doing nothing. There was just something about it! I asked her if she really did nothing and after thinking it over she added, “I always wear sunscreen and get a lot of sleep, maybe it's that.” I wasn’t convinced. I kept thinking, ugh, why is she gatekeeping? Though I started noticing that she wore hats a lot, so on some days, I started trying them out, too. I even started wearing sunglasses for a while, outside and inside,  until someone in my class said I looked like I was stuck up.

Bay Gull: All very interesting stuff, but not necessarily hard evidence. You actually have really good skin, too! I mean, wow! Look at that glow! Anyways, what made you pause and think, “Oh my god, is this girl a vampire?”

Anonymous: Yes, yes, of course. I’m getting to that. So, on the day of the Blood Drive, I asked if she could come for moral support, since I get a little queasy when getting blood drawn, and she agreed. So after our classes, we went together. It was difficult donating, but I got through it. When I was done, though, she seemed queasy herself, which was weird, especially since she’d told me she was considering becoming a phlebotomist. She was adamant that she couldn’t donate blood—a recent stick and poke or something—so we left as soon as my wait time was up.

Bit of a sidebar, I ended up taking a nap once we got back, but, funny thing, I woke up more tired than I was after donating. I was so out of it that my roommate ended up having to shake me awake. I woke up so confused, to her staring right at me and intensified soreness in my arm, but I had a class to get to, so I was just grateful she got me up somehow. 

That same night, I got back to my dorm after my last class a little earlier than usual and opened the door to my room, when I bumped into her. She was fine, but spilled some of her water bottle. I immediately apologized but she seemed rushed to clean it up. That was when I noticed. It was hard to tell with the dull carpeted floor, but it was red, really red. And the smell, there wasn’t too much that spilled, but it was like a wave of metal, or maybe pennies. Now, I know what you're thinking, maybe it was fruit punch or cranberry juice, or some other juice, but I know what I saw and what I smelt. At least, I do now. I was unsure of what to think about it at the time and just thought it was weird, though I still couldn’t seem to get it out of my mind. But when I told my friend about it, with Halloween just passed, she joked, “Maybe she's a vampire” and that's when it all connected. The black, the skin, the fact that she’s ‘always cold’ and never wants to open the window—I thought she might be anemic but, nope, definitely a vampire. 

Bay Gull: What a story! Well, thank you so much for your time, it was nice talking with you.

Anonymous: Yeah, of course. I didn't know what to do and wanted to get it all off my chest I guess. Do you have anywhere to go after this? Cause I don’t.  

The rest of the interview was cut off, dissolving into static. Our interviewer has not been heard from since.